And life changes.. Again.

Monday was just a normal day for me. Got up, got ready and went to the doctor to get my release for work and a post-surgery check-up. Now the backstory on things: About 4 days prior, Sean had applied for a job online. One that was very similar to a job he applied for a few months prior and didn't get. Sunday night, he got a text message on his phone inviting him to a job recruitment that he had been emailed about, but hadn't bothered to check. He's a man, he's not so good at those things. Anyway, fast forward. Monday comes. Job recruitment at 1pm. He fills out information about hearing about said job. Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. Background check, and then it's interview time. They tell him he will hear in a few days (or more like a week) if he got the job or not and that they would let him know either way. He lost his job back in May right before I had the baby, so it felt good to just know he was looking for work. After the outcome of the previous job attempt, I never expected this. But a few days passed and we got this e-mail:

"Congratulations, based on your interview and assessment results Loram Maintenance Of Way would like to make you a conditional job offer for our General Laborer position. Please contact me via email at your earliest convenience if you are interested in pursuing this opportunity."

So.. our life changes. This is a traveling job. By traveling I mean, good money. Great benefits, but he's gone 6-12 weeks at a time and then home for 2. Then leaves again.. and so on and so forth.

I have never been alone. I'm left to deal with this. It's bittersweet. I'm terribly happy for him.. so excited. Couldn't be more happy for him to have this opportunity. But I'm left behind, with our three kids.. to raise pretty much by myself. All of their firsts, strictly for my viewing..

And my heart is breaking. I don't want to keep him from this opportunity, though. I would regret it my whole life and wonder What If? .. I'd feel guilty, like I kept him from something he wanted. His sister told me, "He always told me when we were kids that he wanted to see the world. And that he would.. He always said he would." Well, nows his chance.